I guess I knew these days would come on this Lenten journey. Just as I mused yesterday evening at how I've been pretty good at keeping at this particular discipline, I find myself for the second day in a row, seeing this as a chore to be done, rather than a practice or discipline to be explored.
I went back and read some of what I wrote in the first week, thinking that it might help me to return to the sense I had when I first got started. It helped a bit.
I also know that some of these feelings are related to the sense of tiredness I've been feeling the past couple of days. I know I was more interested in writing at some point during this morning or afternoon than I am right now, but the good thing is that I am writing, even if it is about not feeling the urge to write, or not quite getting the spiritual boost that this discipline is supposed to give me.
I wrote in one of the early days that I get it and I understand a bit of what it must be like to be part of a religious order where discipline is a regular part of every day, hour and minute. I do get it, but I also expect that the sisters or brothers in the religious order must have days like this where they wonder why?
Tomorrow looms as yet another busy day, so I am going to go to bed and see if I can find the rest I need. I will do so with a mind and heart that is focused on recapturing the spiritual aspect of this discipline, so that I can come back to the practice tomorrow with more energy and interest.
Yellowknife,
Wedneday, March 17, 2010
No comments:
Post a Comment