Seventh Wednesday - Day Thirty-seven

Changing Course

This is my second start at today's blog entry. It is a change of course. The last couple of days I've been reflecting on the reflections in the book Iona Dawn: Through Holy Week with the Iona Community. That's what I started to do again tonight, but in so doing the writing got too personal and I was not ready to make it available in a blog that could be read everywhere.

That's the one thing that I haven't done in this Lenten blog - do a lot of writing about where and how this blog might be read. I know there are a few of you out there reading it on a regular basis - or at least you were at one point, but when I last checked I did not have many followers, and no comments have ever been posted. I have a feeling that some things have been said to me or done for me as a result of things I wrote about only in my blog, which indicates that more people are reading than I thought.

I fully expect when Lent is over and I no longer need to write here as part of my Lenten discipline, that I will stop doing a daily entry. It is also my intention to do some reflection on the whole experience. Where did this take me, what did I learn, would I do it again, were there themes or directions that came up that I did not expect - all those kinds of questions. But that is for when it is all over.

There are still three (not counting tonight) entries to go so I will save the reflection until it is all over. However, I also know that my commitment to the discipline will probably receive it's biggest challenge in the next few days.

We are having visitors for the Easter Weekend and the first ones arrived today. There will be lots more demands on my time besides the regular extraordinary demands of Holy Week and Easter. It's all good - it will be wonderful to share time together and to have people around. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you about the visitors who arrived today: Our granddaughter - who will be five months old on Easter Sunday - the day of her baptism, arrived at around noon today. She brought her parents with her - well they actually brought her, but we all know who the real focus of attention will be.

But that's why blog entries will be hard to complete in the next few days - with all the people and activity to attend to, to say nothing of the extra pressure and responsibility of planning Holy Week and Easter worship.

And so, that's all I have to say this evening. I might eventually get around to finishing that "other" entry and doing something with it, but I think it will always be a little too personal for the blogosphere.

TTFN

Yellowknife,
Wednesday, March 31

Sixth Tuesday - Day Thirty-six

There were no questions at the end of today's reflection in Iona Dawn, except the lingering question that the reflection left with me. It told the story of Rachel - grieving her dying husband and receiving the pattest and least helpful of answers from her priest.

Am I that priest? Would I answer her questions with the same kind of pat answer, and dismissive assurance?

I trust I wouldn't, that I would not feel the need to try to lessen her grief with unhelpful 'there-there's and deny her anger with God with a 'soon it will all be better'.

I did a lot of reflecting on the Good Friday experience today as I tried to get ready for worship in three days. All the liturgical resources that ended with a note of hope seemed so out of place, so quickly reassuring. As much as I dislike the idea of atonement - that someone without sin had to die for all our sins, and will therefore search for other reasons for Jesus' execution, I also want to hold within me the grief, the pain, the complicity that we the members of the crowd share in what happened. Easter does not hold the same importance without Good Friday. That's why we mark Palm and Passion Sunday as well. It doesn't make sense to go from celebration (flawed though it was in concept and expectation (I'm talking Palm Sunday here)) to celebration without reflecting on what went on in between.

The fact is that political disturbers - whether peaceful in their methods or not - can get executed. Oscar Romero came to mind today, and just now so did Martin Luther King, and Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

Good Friday is not going to be a happy service. It never should be, and the pain and sorrow, sadness and despair are as important to us on the Easter weekend as the celebration that comes with sunrise on Easter Sunday. 

Sixth Monday - Day Thirty-five

Double Discipline

I hinted at this on Friday with a haiku but I have decided to take on a second discipline for Holy Week. I bought the book of Holy Week reflections a couple of years ago, but I did not use it at the time. This year I saw the book advertised in something else I was reading and it reminded me that I have it.

I have to say I am really looking forward to using it this year, first of all because after getting this far with this discipline of writing - which I admit has been quite challenging at times, I am ready for a spiritual practice which involves reading, reflection and some questions. Reading what someone else has written is going to be a little easier than having to come up with something to write every day. Secondly I am looking forward to it because it is called Iona Dawn and it comes from the Iona community. The work of the Iona Community really appeals to my celtic roots.

Today's reflection from Iona Dawn was by Jan Sutch Pickard and in the piece she reflected on the passage where Jesus weeps for Jerusalem. Jan wrote about the many reasons why God still must weep for Jerusalem. As the daily reading comes to a close, Jan asks these questions:

• Where do you feel God is weeping, in other places in the world right now?
  
  The lives of innocent victims were changed forever again today, in Moscow, from which we received word of two suicide bombers who blew themselves up along with a large number of other subway riders. God is weeping.
  
  God continues to weep for the people of Haiti, who are still desperate almost three  months after the January earthquake.
   
• What can you do to express your common humanity with the people in that place?
  
  I don't know what I can do directly to express my care and concern and sorrow for the people of Moscow. I can pray that a peace with justice will find a way as the resolution to the problems that are sending people to make such dramatic, inhumane, and destructive actions.
  
  We joined the many millions of people who made a direct financial donation in the days immediately following the earthquake. Perhaps it is time to make another.
  
• What in your own country, community, or family life might make God weep?
  
  I think God continues to weep over the two solitude fathom that separates aboriginal and non-aboriginal people in our country.
  
• In these situations, can you see the way that leads to peace?
  
  Yes.
  
• What are they?
  
  As has become so apparent to me in the past few months and years - it is all about relationship. Relationships - healthy, whole , respectful relationships are the only way to create peace and understanding.
   
• What would be the first steps?
  
  Taking a step outside of our normal path of walking. Swallow pride, swallow fear of embarrassment, swallow fear of saying the wrong thing, swallow fear of difference - and reach out.
  

Sixth Saturday - Day Thirty-four

Six Word Story Time
Probably the most memorable night at General Council 40 was the evening when each table group was invited to write a six word story about the work that the General Council had done so far, the mood of the meeting, or a particular theme or incident that happened during our time in Kelowna.

After the stories were written, we were invited by the moderator to come to the microphones to share the work of our creative enterprise. It was a wonderful evening composed of laughs, poignant moments, brilliant insights and just a fun evening to take our minds and hearts in a different direction for a brief time.

Hopefully the six word stories that were shared that evening will be preserved in some fashion, because they just might be some of the best stuff to come out of the General Council. That is not meant to be a criticism of the important work that got accomplished, it's just that I think the creative work we were called to do with the six word stories was something that helped us to think differently, step outside the box and do some dreaming with both seriousness and whimsy.

The "six word story" theme was inspired in part by this famous six word story by Ernest Hemingway: Baby Shoes For Sale. Hardly Used. It makes sense that Hemingway, the master of minimalist writing would be the one to come up with such a meaningful and mysterious story in such a few words.

I hinted last night that "six word stories" are the prose version of the haiku which have appeared in this blog on more than one occasion. I also hinted in one of my haiku verses that a six word story might show up in this night's entry. Let's see how it might go:

Lenten practice sometimes works for me. 


Every Sunday a little Easter. Hallelujah!


This dude's off to bed Goodnight

Yellowknife,
March 26, 2010

Sixth Friday - Day Thirty-three

When in doubt, haiku
Just like people have 'comfort food' - the dish they go to when they need something that reminds them of home or happier days, or just when they aren't feeling particularly creative about cooking dinner, or because the comfort food is based on things that are always in the pantry, fridge or freezer - I've decided that I have a 'comfort creative outlet', namely the haiku.

I first learned of haiku at the Ministry of Supervision course - about fifteen years ago. I remember an afternoon where we were given various options to draw upon (pun sort of intended) the other side of our brain. Someone described the five, seven, five pattern of this kind of Japanese verse and I was hooked. I don't write them all the time, but every once in a while when I need to explore things a bit differently - and escape the prose which is my normal style of writing, I will put my mind to work on the minimalist exercise of writing some.

I wrote some haiku at GC40 last summer when commissioners were also asked to do something creative. It must have been of interest to someone because haiku got a mention in the reporting back the next day.

So, I once again call upon my 'comfort creative outlet'. It is time again to pare some thoughts from the day, and some events of the week into seventeen syllables each:

This week's glimpse of God:
A lenten epiphany:
It's relationship!

Just like what to write
The photo quest does vex me
I know - a hydrant!

Facebook and Twitter
Community builders both
but so is Worship!

Twitter and Facebook
a place to get together
just like coffee time!

Read "Iona Dawn"
My Holy Week discipline
Can I handle two?

"Six word story" time
The prose version of haiku
I'll try tomorrow.

Look for things to say
Counting out the syllables
five more and you're done!

Good night followers
This list of poems complete
Now I can go sleep....

Yellowknife,
March 26, 2010

Sixth Thursday - Day Thirty-two

Open Source II - The Sequel
So, I woke up this morning and almost decided to delete yesterday's entry and replace it. I've thought lots about Open Source as a concept, and I've talked about it with a good number of people, but never in a coherent, straightforward, answer-all-the-questions kind of way. I've done lots of reflecting on the topic. It may seem a bit far-fetched, but I think there are strong connections between the Open Source movement (I will continue to call it that, unless someone can write and make a good case not to call it that) and the DRM debate that is going on around music CDs, movies and computer games. It also has some connections with peer-to-peer file sharing and the whole issue of copyright and intellectual propery.

So, I've talked with a number of people about Open Source software, and I freely admit that part of the point of these conversations is to help me come to an understanding in my own mind about the whole issue of "open source". Unfortunately, I am still working it all out, and that's probably why I wasn't satisfied with what I wrote yesterday (and actually if you are checking the dates and times - it was really quite early today!).

Open Source is more than just a collection of really good and really cheap (as in free!) software, although those two attributes are not to be sneezed at. For me there is an interesting ethic to be explored. And I also think there is a spirituality behind that ethic. So that, along with the fact that the software I use is both good and free, is why I am so attracted to the whole idea of Open Source. For me it has something to do with being gifted by God and using those gifts to develop software and then allow people to have it for nothing - as long as they agree to make their own work available as well.

I really do want sometime to explore the whole spiritual background of developers of open source software. Because I think that community-developed (a term that is sometimes used to describe open source contributions) software is an important, tangible example of the kind of community that is described in the aforementioned book of Acts.

The whole idea of free to use, free to change, free to buy software movement, brings one into discussions about giftedness, intellectual property and other ways of organizing ourselves. After all, doesn't free stuff do a real number on the prevailing system of values? What would it mean if we all bartered our way around the money system.

So not only does Open Source help me get stuff done freely (in all the ways you want to define it), but it helps me to reflect on the ways in which God has gifted those around us.

I still don't feel like I said everything I wanted to say in a manner that is straightforward and understandable, but perhaps a little better than last night's posting.

Of course this all sounds a bit like this: Using Open Source solutions - which end up being better in quality as well as free, helps me to think about God and the way God has gifted us. And that, my friends, is how the action-reflection- action cycle goes. Which all means that using open source is much like a Lenten discipline. They both lead me on a path which ends up being close to where we started. And they both help me to reflect on God and God's relationship with us.

I hope that makes more sense than last night, and I expect you have not heard the last of this subject!

My graphic today is one that comes from the Free Software Foundation which is known for its Gnu logo - depicting the animal called a Gnu. However the Free Software Foundation also produces software which is labeled with the Gnu name. And what does Gnu stand for? Well it is a self-defining acronym meaning Gnu is Not Unix. Do you get it? It's a little inside joke that often shows up as a kind of naming convention for Open Source software.








Yellowknife,
March 24, 2010

Sixth Wednesday - Day Thirty-one

Open Source

So this is one of those days when I wasn't sure what to write about. It was a busy enough day with it being the turn of Yellowknife United Church and Holy Family Lutheran Church to provide the lunch for the Lenten Lunch series that is offered by the Yellowknife Ministerial Association every Wednesday during Lent, but as you can see that would have been a pretty short post!

So, I spent a few minutes on Facebook looking for inspiration, but nothing served as a muse. So, off I went to Twitter. The last tweet I tweeted (is that the correct way to say that?) was almost a month ago, when I mentioned this blog. Because I haven't been on Twitter for a while there was a long list of tweets from the United Church which is one of the Twitter accounts I am following. And there I found the comment that was the spark for this evening's blog entry. The tweet asked: How would the United Church of Canada look redesigned by Apple?That turned my crank or pushed my button! I quickly replied with this: I would much rather see what The United Church of Canada would look like redesigned by the Open Source Community. 

I can't believe that I've posted thirty entries here and have not yet mentioned Open Source. You see, it is a big focus for me. It intrigues me. It inspires me. It keeps me well stocked with software. I use it every day of my life, and someday I would like to study even more closely the community that produces it. If I had taken some different turns earlier in my life I might well have been a contributing member of the Open Source Community rather than someone who simply uses the stuff that others contribute.

If you want to know more about the Open Source Software movement (I'm not sure that it is a 'movement', but for sake of a better term, that's what I'll call it) you can find out lots on the Web - in fact it is one of the best places to find out information, because a lot of Open Source programmers use it exclusively - to promote, collaborate, and distribute their products. Look up the name Richard Stallman on Wikipedia (which by the way in many ways has connections with the Open Source Community) or put his name into Google. Read the book by Eric Raymond The Cathedral and the Bazaar. There's an online version of it here.

And I really would like to see what the United Church would be like as designed by the Open Source Community - although some might argue that that's the way we are already. I haven't given this a lot of thought, but here's a quick list of good things about Open Source Software:

1. It is 'free'. The phrase that's been coined to explain this characteristic is this: "free" as in speech, not as in beer. Which means that you are free to see the code for the software and make it work the way you want to make it work. 
2. It is usually 'free' - as in "it doesn't cost you money" - or as in beer.
3. It is peer reviewed, and usually very good software - certainly very valuable when you consider how much you pay for it!
4. It is updated more frequently and therefore improves more quickly than commercial software.
5. Commercial software often charges more money for new, improved versions.
6. It sounds more like the kind of software the Acts community would have used. 

So, I wonder how does this translate to the United Church of Canada?

1. Are we 'free' as in speech? - Not bad, and our rules of governance are fairly easy to come by. Our traditions and long held ways of doing things are not always quite as transparent or easy to figure out. The General Council spent some time talking about the "source code" of the United Church last summer - better known as The Basis of Union. Some think a rewrite with an archiving of the original package might be a good idea.
2. Free as in 'not costing any money'? Free to join - a least dollar wise. Free to attend. Free to participate. But pretty soon we hope your thanksgiving and your understanding of being a steward might change that - although you are hopefully always free to choose.
3. We have lots of stuff that's peer reviewed in the United Church. It's how we do a lot of our business. Sometimes the testing needs to be more thorough, and perhaps the work needs to be better at handling a variety of special cases.
4. I'm not sure how good we are at updating. Some parts of the church get updated more often than others, and it can sometimes take a very long time to get anything new going. See the comment above about dealing with traditions. 
5. See #4!
6. This is an interesting one for me. I think that "open source" is ideally suited to the church. It's developed in community. It is free - in both ways of understanding, and I think there is something about 'grace' tied up in the whole "Open Source" ideal.

Well, this has been a bit of whimsical look at something that I take very seriously. The post has been mostly this way because it's been off the top of my head. But it has got me thinking and perhaps once I have had a chance to do some more thinking about The United Church of Canada as designed by the open source community, I'll have more to say.

Finally, just to give you an example of the way in which open source is so much a part of my world every day, let me just list a non-exhaustive list of the software I use that is 'open source' along with the commercial or closed source equivalent - some of which I have, but some which I use 'open source' instead of.

Item	Open Source	Closed Source or Commercial
Operating System	Ubuntu Linux	Microsoft Windows 7
Web Browser	Mozilla Firefox	Microsoft Internet Explorer
Email Client	Mozilla Thunderbird	Microsoft Outlook
Photo Editing	GIMP	Photoshop
Office Suite: Word Processing, Spreadsheet, Database, etc.	Openoffice.org	Microsoft Office

To name but a few....

Yellowknife
March 24, 2010

Fifth Tuesday - Day Thirty

March Light
One of the wonders of Yellowknife is the light in March. Followed closely by the sun in March. Well actually they are one and the same, but with slightly different characteristics. Often the memory of something or the description of something ends up being better than the real thing. Once in a while though the real thing is better than anyone can describe or remember. That's the way it was for me when I drove the "Going to the Sun" highway in Glacier National Park in Montana. I had heard that it was a wonderful, scenic, mouth open kind of road. How can anything be that good, I wondered. And then I drove it. It was far and away better than I had imagined.

And it is the same way with the light in March in Yellowknife. This is the fifth time I've experienced it and every time it is better than what I remembered. I don't know why it is better than February, or even June - there is certainly more of it in June, but I think it has to do with the blanket of snow - the usually bright and sunny days, and the fact that we are getting more than twelve hours of it now that we've passed the spring equinox. It is also the harbinger of spring despite the fact that we'll likely have snow on the ground for at least another six weeks or so - it's too far north for groundhogs!

As I said, even the sun is a wonder, although today you wouldn't really know it. The temperature didn't get above -22 all day and the wind was as biting and nasty as it has been all winter, but even so there was just a hint of warmth in the sun even if the air all around us was unseasonably cold even for Yellowknife.

Perhaps this is why the Snowking makes sure that his month long festival takes place in March. Because he knows that there will be bright light, lengthening days (they gallop ahead these days - about six minutes a day - which only makes sense when they go from five hours of daylight on December 21 to twelve hours of daylight on or around March 21) and the occasional reminder of warmth.

I gloried in the light as I walked home for lunch today. I'll remember it for next year, but I just know that next year it will still be better than I remembered!

Yellowknife,
March 23, 2010

Fifth Monday - Day Twenty-Nine

Yellowknife Moments

I have a folder on my computer called "Yellowknife Moments". In it are filed stories of things that happen in Yellowknife that are unlikely to happen anywhere else. Yellowknife truly is a different kind of place, and that's one of the main reasons we like living here. Here's a brief tale from a couple of months ago, before I tell you of the Yellowknife moment we had this evening.


I was out for a little trip on one of the snowmobiles we are taking care of while their owners complete an assignment with the Mennonite Central Committee in Mexico. I was two turns from home on the streets of Yellowknife when I noticed that the Sports Utility Vehicle approaching me was slowing down. I had to look closely to realise that it was braking for ptarmigan (there actually is quite a popular bumper sticker in Yellowknife that reads 'I brake for ptarmigan'). As they were crossing the street in front of him, and therefore in front of me, I also had to brake for them. That's Yellowknife Moment Part One - a snowmobile and an SUV on the city streets braking for ptarmigan - hard to picture that happening anywhere else. But wait, I'm not done - I continued around the turn and then made the next turn on to our street, down our street and then in to our driveway where there is a trail into our backyard where I turn the snowmobile around to be ready for the next trip. As I drove into the back yard, there perched on the rock outcrop that overlooks our back yard was a nice bushy fox watching me.

All that was a bit of an aside, a fond memory of my last Yellowknife Moment before tonight. It is typical of the kind of experience we've come to expect in this place, but one which still impresses us. The occasion is the yearly Peter Gzowski Invitational golf tournament for Literacy. This is an event which moves around the north - from eastern arctic to western arctic and lots of places in between. However, we usually get a concert in Yellowknife regardless of where the golf tournament is taking place. A few years ago the golf tournament was played on a miniature golf course carved out of the snow on Great Slave Lake right next to the Snow Castle which also is on Great Slave Lake - built pretty much entirely out of snow and ice (ice is frozen in sheets to make the window panes). Apparently they used flourescent red balls, and I'm not sure what they used for clubs. This year the golf game is being played on the ice in Hay River, but as the invitees and performers usually have to come through Yellowknife anyway, and as this is the community with the largest population and therefore the best place to do some fund raising, it was time for the Peter Gzowski Invitational Fund Raising Concert for Literacy.

Where else but Yellowknife can you attend an intimate little concert with such well known names as Russell De Carle (of Prairie Oyster), Barney Bentall, Connie Kaldor, Jonathan Torrens along with the fantastic harmonica playing of Mike Caribou Stevens (follow the link to find out more about this amazing musician and his work with "at risk youth" in the north). However, the evening was not limited to these great 'imported' musicians, because we have some of our own. Yellowknife is a treasure chest of fantastic local musical talent that can challenge some of the best in the country and tonight was no exception - Sophie Léger - fresh from a gig at the Vancouver Olympics and Pat Braden - who plays the Chapman Stick and all of it hosted by Shelagh Rogers.

Now before you think that you might be able to attend a concert like that somewhere near where you live, let me just say that I'm pretty sure it just would not be the same, because you see there is a certain 'northern spirit' which always accompanies these kinds of event - and believe me we've seen some pretty well known musicians and other artists in our four+ years here - for example, Murray McLauchlan and Ian Thomas performing a little concert in the room next to my office for about twenty people a couple of years ago! This "northern spirit" is such that it welcomes celebrities like the ones who were here this evening (and they'll be back for another concert tomorrow night - in case you can arrange a quick flight to Yellowknife!) but it doesn't do so with a large amount of fanfare. It's just all laid back - as Canadian as it gets I think - and you can mingle with them at the intermission, or have your photo taken with them, and share a story or two. It's as if Yellowknifers just know we have a good thing going here, and anyone - celebrity or otherwise - just has to find that out. I'm pretty sure that's why Peter Gzowski liked the north so much (in fact Shelagh Rogers practically said that this evening - that this is where Peter could just be Peter - and I think Shelagh nailed that 'northern spirit' nail on the head with that comment) and that's why this Peter likes the north so much as well.

north literacy:
fine people from near and far
sing and play for funds

Yellowknife,
March 22, 2010

Fifth Saturday - Day Twenty-Eight

Following on from Friday...
 

Evening too tiring

for long wordy blog entries

must find better hour

Don't worry my friends

these poems won't keep coming

but for now they work

Children's theatre,

rewiring electric stuff,

was my afternoon.

Must we talk of God

for God to be a part of

the conversation?

Tomorrow will be

a day without an entry

so this might be it!

Yellowknife,

March 20, 2010

Fifth Friday - Day Twenty-Seven

A New Tack

The Lenten practice that first alerted me to the fact that it was okay to add something for Lent rather than just give something up was a ministry colleague who wrote a daily piece of haiku poetry based on a Lenten daily lectionary. I'm not following a daily lectionary, but the idea of writing a few pieces of haiku to sum up my day, has some appeal. So, here are a few....perhaps with a bit of explanation. I think I mentioned the Easter Drama Day Camp which was the main agenda item for yesterday. Here it is a new day, and other work awaited, so:

Day camp now over

other tasks await my ken

a blog entry too!

And a haiku for a spring(!) weekend:

Seasons meet these days

Lent and Spring come together

bringing us light twice.

And finally, a couple of haiku answering questions about the purpose of these blog entries:

Where is God in this

the theologian's query

and God helps answer.

Blogger says good night

Haikus achieve the object

of saying something!

Yellowknife,

March 19, 2010

The last time I wrote some haiku as a creative outlet was in Kelowna at General Council 40.

Fifth Thursday - Day Twenty-Six

God is in the Connections
Probably for a long time, but certainly in the past six or so years, I've been increasingly aware that my personal theology is strongly attached to the idea of connections. Maybe it was when I first heard the adage concerning the butterfly that flaps its wings half way around the world having an effect on something in our own area, that I began to form this notion. Some people would name this a theology of relationships - and it's not a bad adjective to describe the idea, but I still like 'connections'. This is not just a theology of person connected with person, but a theology that includes connections with everything in the universe. In quantum physics, the search for these connections, and the theory that ties them all together is sometimes called the Grand Unified Theory. It's fascinating, even if only barely understandable to me.

I write about connections today not because of some sudden Grand awareness of a cosmic connection of the Grand Unified Theory variety, but because I had a day of simple connections that was both pleasing and affirming of that theology of connections for me.

What were these connections that have left me feeling a certain sense of well being?

Because of all my recent travel it has been three weeks since I was last able to attend a weekly Northern United Place coffee break. Originally I wasn't supposed to be there this week again, but a change in plans, which will be detailed below, meant that I could go. It's a simple thing, but this small community gathering which started a couple of years ago, has become an important ministry as well as a place of connection not only between residents, but a place of connection between Yellowknife United Church, and some of the people who call Northern United Place their home.

The other connections I made today were with a small group of children who signed up to participate in an Easter Drama Day Camp. This is the second last day of a two week March break for school children in Yellowknife. The first week off was taken up for some by the Arctic Winter Games which this year took place in Grande Prairie, Alberta. It has been our practice at Yellowknife United Church over the past few years to offer a kind of Vacation Bible School day near the end of the winter break, often with a focus on Easter. This year it was advertised as an Easter Drama Day Camp, but because some of the participants were involved in a community dramatic production, we decided this year to make it a half-day camp. That's why I was able to attend the Coffee Break in the morning.
So, a small group of us - three adults and five children - spent the afternoon in worship, singing, playing and learning some things about Easter as we heard and acted out the story in a number of different ways.

It was fun, gentle, and respectful.

The way I see it, God is always to be found in connections. And so today, I at least, found God


Yellowknife
March 18, 2010



 

Talking about connections at the
Yellowknife United Church
50th Anniversary Worship Service

Fifth Wednesday - Day Twenty-Five

Where do I turn at the bump in the road?
I guess I knew these days would come on this Lenten journey. Just as I mused yesterday evening at how I've been pretty good at keeping at this particular discipline, I find myself for the second day in a row, seeing this as a chore to be done, rather than a practice or discipline to be explored.
I went back and read some of what I wrote in the first week, thinking that it might help me to return to the sense I had when I first got started. It helped a bit.
I also know that some of these feelings are related to the sense of tiredness I've been feeling the past couple of days. I know I was more interested in writing at some point during this morning or afternoon than I am right now, but the good thing is that I am writing, even if it is about not feeling the urge to write, or not quite getting the spiritual boost that this discipline is supposed to give me.
I wrote in one of the early days that I get it and I understand a bit of what it must be like to be part of a religious order where discipline is a regular part of every day, hour and minute. I do get it, but I also expect that the sisters or brothers in the religious order must have days like this where they wonder why?
Tomorrow looms as yet another busy day, so I am going to go to bed and see if I can find the rest I need. I will do so with a mind and heart that is focused on recapturing the spiritual aspect of this discipline, so that I can come back to the practice tomorrow with more energy and interest.


Yellowknife,
Wedneday, March 17, 2010

Fourth Tuesday - Day Twenty-four

Sobering Statistics

I had a busy day, but it's kind of one of those days where despite the fact that I did lots, I cannot look back on the day and list off what I accomplished. I just know that the day went quickly, and I did not do everything I had hoped to get done.

The day was also punctuated with a thought-provoking message, that has had me thinking about it off and on throughout the day.

For some reason I did not read the message until today even though it first arrived in my inbox on February 19, just a few days after I started this blog. I wonder how this blog would have changed if I'd read it sooner?

The message was a forward of an email sent out by a ministry colleague in Vancouver. Over the past several years he has taken to plotting trends in such things as membership, church attendance, baptisms, weddings and funerals in United Church congregations. These are all graphed based on informaton provided in the annual yearbook of The United Church of Canada.

The trends, if they are to be believed and there is no reason not to believe them because they are simply based on the numbers provided by those people in the church who file the statistical information, are quite sobering. To summarize the statistics, we are headed by the year 2025 to a very different church - one characterized by very small numbers - in membership, in attendance, in baptisms, weddings and funerals.

The statisfics were accompanied by a commentary which paints a very dismal but not unrealistc picture of where we are headed in the space of the next fifteen years.

Unfortunately it is the kind of information that can drag us down or draw us back.

In my latest report to the Executive of Conference I reported that there are many things which seem to pre-occupy us in the church these days. They most often relate to the same kinds of information detailed in the report, namely lagging attendance and membership and the consequent dropping numbers of professions of faith, weddings, baptisms and funerals. In the same report I outlined how when I am visiting a presbytery, while acknowledging these concerns, I try to accentuate the positive aspects that I find. I really do believe there is something going on in the  world as it relates to the presence of the Spirit among us. Whether it is The Great Emergence, or something akin to renaissance, reformation or the like I really do believe that a new and encouraging and exciting wind is blowing. I also realise how difficult it can be to look past old buildings and memories of the good times, and not want to have them back. But as I said recently at St. Paul Presbytery, this reformation, resurrection, and renaissance information is most of the time extremely important, if we can get past the stuff that will draw us down or drag us back.

The church is not suffering through these agonizing times with the statistics that describe them and the tough decisions that accompany them because God is gone. God is still here, calling us to a new place, a new understanding of what it means to answer the call of the spirit in these times. But they are scary times - for sure, and we won't really know where we are until the emerging church, the emerging spirit, the transformed, reborn and reformed church has finished its emergence. And even then God will still be calling us to be something new.

It's kind of a tough way to end the fourth week of Lent, but the predominant feeling for me is one of hope, and anxious excitement about where all of this will lead - if we can only get past the things that drag us down or draw us back....

Yellowknife,
March 16, 2010

What is the right metaphor for the times we find

ourselves amidst? Is it a whirlwind, a maelstrom,

or a puzzle?

Fourth Monday - Day Twenty-three

On Contemplation
Long ago I came to terms with the fact that my particular personality is one that keeps me from keeping at something for a long time. I've tried to maintain a spiritual discipline at various times in the past but they've only lasted a short while - even though I've found them to be helpful. Therefore I'm feeling somewhat self-satisfied that I've kept at this particular Lenten discipline as long as I have - with only one late posting and one completely forgotten posting (although added after I realised it and had time to write and post an entry). I almost forgot again this evening, partly because it is a Monday, and partly because I was busy doing some other work.

Our Lenten discussion and contemplative prayer group met last night. With a certain amount of trepidation I suggested that we spend the last thirty minutes in silent, contemplative prayer. I said it with trepidation because I had no idea how long that would seem. Would it seem like a really long time? How would I judge the thirty minutes - not wanting to look at my watch too soon, but also  not wanting to go way overtime (although I never thought that would be a possibility).

One object of comtemplative prayer is to clear one's mind. This is easier said than done, and certainly as the leader and the time keeper, it is never completely possible to clear one's mind, because the timing issue is always there in some fashion.

Anyway, in order to get this posted before the stroke of midnight, let me say I was very surprised when I sneaked a look at my watch - with no idea how long we had been keeping silent, and discovered that it had been approximately twenty-five minutes.

I really appreciate the opportunity to spend that time in silent prayer - now I just wonder how I might be able to convince myself to make it a regular event.

Yellowknife,
March 15, 2010

Fourth Saturday - Day Twenty-two

 Looking in, Branching out  
(The theme of the Alberta and Northwest Junior High Rally 2010)


Once again I find myself blogging in the air. Fortunately, writing on the plane is something that I find relatively simple to do. I guess it is up to you, the reader, to decide if I do it well.

True to what I predicted in yesterday's entry (and it seems quite some time ago that I did it) the evening got considerably more busy.

In my comments to the Youth Rally participants I said that Youth Rally is one of the best things that happens in the Conference. I wasn't just being kind. There is an incredible group of people in our conference that is very gifted in planning and presenting an event which both in theme and process is imbued with the work of the Spirit. This is the church at its very best - sure of the message, secure in the process, committed to the purpose and joyful and appropriate in the fulfillment, which leaves me feeling very good about the church.

Praise God for the Youth Rally Leadership Team. Praise God for the youth who come. Praise God that this is a vital part of who we are as The United Church of Canada and may we grow from the wisdom and talent they offer!

En route between Edmonton and Yellowknife
March 13, 2010

Fourth Friday - Day Twenty-one

Lenten Devotions and the Half-way Point

When I committed to making this blog my Lenten discipline, I had no idea where it would lead.

I am sitting in a room at St. David's United Church in Leduc, waiting for the start of the Alberta and Northwest Conference Junior High Youth Rally. When I first arrived, only a few people involved with leadership were here, and there was some busyness associated with moving stuff into the church and setting things up for the rally band and so on. Since I had no specific job to do, I busied myself with looking around, reading bulletin boards and other such things that help one to get a 'feel' for the place. I expect it will feel a lot different in just a couple of hours as more and more youth arrive and the energy level, especially after a long drive to get here for some of them, picks up. Right now there is relative peace, although the numbers and the busyness are increasing even as I sit and type. I'm sitting in one of the rooms that will be a breakout room during the rally, but right now it is pretty much empty. It also serves as the church library. The librarian has taken initiative to select a number of Lenten devotional books and set them out on a cart for people to browse and perhaps adopt as the one they will use for their own Lenten time devotions. There is a good variety with suitability for different age ranges covered by the various options. The one that caught my eye is called "Chocolate for Lent". A catchy title to be sure, so naturally it was the one I picked up. It turns out that it is based on the movie "Chocolat" which I've had on my list of "to-be-viewed" movies for quite a while now. It's now moved up a little on my general to-do list! 

All of this browsing and waiting led me to consider once again the purpose I had in mind by choosing this as my Lenten discipline. There are plenty of Lenten devotional books out there, and it was not my intention to add to the list of them by my daily writings. Although having said that I recognise that my first week of reflection was kind of like a set of devotions on the practice of devotions. No, that was not my intention, but I also understand that it might end up that way for some people as well as myself. It has also served as a kind of travelogue and journal. And sometimes it is just a place where I can sit and muse.

What I do know is that while I'm looking forward to the Youth Rally very much, I'm also looking forward to my trip home tomorrow afternoon and being able to spend the rest of Lent in my own place. It seems interesting to me that I titled my reflection for Sunday "Coming Home" with reference to the parable of the Prodigal Son which is in the gospel reading for Sunday, but I've connected that title in many other ways already - a possible lead-in to my reflection on Sunday and perhaps a certain insight into what's happening on this particular Lenten journey for me - which has very much been about physical journey as it has been about spiritual journey.

Chocolate for Lent - perhaps not, but a little home cookin' is something I anticipate...

Leduc, Alberta
March 12, 2010

Fourth Thursday - Day Twenty

Other Ways
Today's blog entry comes at the end of two days of meeting with the Alberta and Northwest Conference Executive at the Providence Renewal Centre in Edmonton. It has been a good place to meet with pleasant and simple lodgings, good food and well appointed meeting space.

Not only is the Providence Renewal Centre a fine place to meet, it is also the home for the Sisters of Providence, a Roman Catholic women's order and a place which offers space for spiritual retreats.

Places like this are most often found within the Roman Catholic tradition, and whenever I am at one of them, the opportunity to book time and space for a spiritual retreat is one that crosses my mind.

I remember in the first week of writing this Lenten blog that I reflected on the practice of keeping a Lenten discipline and mentioned that even a few days into it, I was able to discern why someone might be attracted to living their life by following an "order of discipline". Spending even a couple of days in an environment such as this brings that reflection to mind again. Following an "order" or practicing a "rule" or "discipline" is not one that would fit well into my life, but as I said then, I kind of "get" some of the attraction. It is yet another way to achieve the same kind of spiritual deepening that is meant to happen by taking on a Lenten discipline. The same goes for a spiritual retreat. Each of these in their own way is a path towards deeper relationship with God.

I took my own little retreat today after lunch, looking for a dry path (that I could manage in my Birkenstocks) among the shrubs, trees and well groomed gardens of the Providence Centre, and while I had to do a little lawn whacking (venturing off the walk way in order to get back to my origin without retracing my steps) I did make it without having to step on any snow or even any terribly wet grass.

I was struck by just how peaceful the ten or so minutes were for me, a welcome respite from what has been a very busy and deeply engaging meeting, with significant and anxiety-filled discussion. This little walk among the gardens reminded me of other times when I've taken time to walk in the forest or other such places, and allowed me to recall how important those times are for me in my own spiritual journey. I just wish I could remember that in times when I truly need to find a place of deepness and connection with the earth. It seems most times they happen by circumstance rather than by design.

Edmonton,
Thursday, March 11, 2010

Fourth Wednesday - Day Nineteen

On the road again - forty-eight hours in the life of a Northern Resident. Did I say that Lent was about 'Journey'?

Unlike two weeks ago, when I sat in the Yellowknife Airport departure lounge for three hours waiting for a flight to leave, eveyrthing about the flight this morning seemed normal. We left on time and about the usual time the Captain came on the public announcement system to tell us we would be at the gate by ten to nine. But as we descended, the clouds never seemed to get any closer. We kept going down, but never seemed to get through them. I dozed off for a moment and then woke up to see that things had cleared below us, or so I thought. It was only a few moments until the captain came back on to tell us the fog had rolled into Edmonton and we were in a holding pattern for fifteen minutes to see if the fog would clear. I think I counted four or five circuits - weather absolutely clear from Wabamun all the way to the Rocky Mountains over three hours drive to the west, but right over Edmonton was that same pillowy blanket of fog that had prevented us from landing on time. After the fourth or fifth circuit we unmistakably climbed out of our hold and headed south. Strangely it was quite a while before the captain confirmed what I already knew. We were headed for Calgary.

So here I am sitting at Gate 42 at Calgary International Airport while fuel is loaded, some passengers are unloaded, and the remainder of us are waiting patiently and impatiently for the fog to clear in Edmonton. I am supposed to be chairing a meeting, but the scheduled start was twenty minutes ago  - so no point in worrying about that.

As I sat here I began reflecting on what a difference forty-eight hours can make. About forty-seven hours ago I was sitting on the frozen expanse of Walsh Lake on a beautiful, reasonably mild March day, seeing if I could attract a fish to the line I had dangling down a hole cut in the ice. It was peaceful and relaxing - a welcome respite from the frenetic pace I've been setting lately.

Two weeks ago I was in a situation that is somewhat reminiscent of today's adventure, The one big difference is that the fog rolled early into Edmonton that day, so we sat in Yellowknife waiting to board - with internet and cell phone at our ready command to tell people what was happening, instead of sitting in Calgary waiting to head back to Edmonton.

Three episodes of waiting  - two out of my control and one completely at my control. Time passes at the same rate every second, minute and hour, and yet the way we spend that time, the attitude we have during its passing and the thoughts that occupy our minds make all the difference.

Gate 42, Calgary International Airport
Calgary, Alberta
Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Third Tuesday - Day Eighteen

Discernment and Bread/Fruit for the Journey

Apologies to my faithful readers. Yes, I missed posting this on the right day. Better late than not at all!
We had a meeting of our local Community Life and Membership Committee this evening. On our agenda, among other things, was 1) an evaluation of the Shrove Tuesday Pancake Supper, 2) a review of the after worship refreshment supplies, and 3) a final edit of our local church brochure. Interestingly enough there were issues of food and/or healthy eating associated with each of these agenda items.
It seems to me that food has become one of the button issues in today's world. Is it a coincidence that we ended up talking about food so often in our meeting last night or is it a theological nudge?

One school of theological thought would claim that there are no coincidences; that because everything is connected, we need to pay attention to the so-called coincidences in order to discern what they might tell us about the call of God.
And so the question that comes to mind with respect to the various food references at our meeting is this: Is there something to be discerned about where God might be leading us?

I hope that you the reader do not take this theological reflection as an undermining of the decisions the committee took - it certainly is not intended that way, except to raise issues that came to mind during our discussion, but which were also niggling at me after our discussion. So I truly raise them as a question about whether there might be some theological discernment at work here.

The arguments pro and con are not new. In fact, they seem to come up in church circles with regularity. They centre around cost, convenience and conscientiousness. Cost is ever an important concern of every church congregation, as is convenience in a world where people and their time are stretched ever more, and conscientiousness is just another way of saying: faithfulness.

In our discussions the first issue we dealt with was a request for some healthier options to be made available at the Pancake Supper. Not much needs to be said about the positive reasons for this. In a world where we are constantly being alerted to the importance of healthy eating, the arguments for healthier options are obvious. However, there are also arguments against. One is the tradition of Mardi Gras - when rich, perhaps unhealthy foods are used up in order to remove the temptation of eating them during Lent. It's also about cost. How much more would it cost to offer healthier food and would we have to implement a quota system in order to control how much of the healthier food we would be required to offer? Of course there's also the "Why change a working system?" argument.

The second "healthy food" discussion at the meeting centred on whether real juice would be offered during fellowship time. It's actually a discussion we began a few months ago, but which never really came to a conclusion. Again the pro arguments are obvious, but cost and convenience are once again the main cons.

Ultimately the committee decided against the full healthy option in both cases, opting to continue the healthier choices that were implemented this year at the Pancake Supper.

As mentioned above, the decisions were made, and I'm fine with them, but my role as theological reflector cannot help but notice the irony or coincidence of having the issue of healthy food come up in one particular meeting of a committee which is not given at other times to any discussions about food. This led me to do some thinking about what it all might mean, and to ponder whether we were indeed being nudged by God.

Let's consider what some different choices might mean:

One change could lead to another. We could become known as the church which offers healthy food options. We could advertise a "new and improved" pancake supper with vegetarian sausages and fresh fruit to put on our pancakes. We could advertise our belief in making connections - connections with God, connections with others, connections between what we eat and how we live - where connections with God happens at worship while connections with each other happen at fellowship time and connections with healthy bodies are made because we offer real juice.

Okay, okay I'm dreaming here - but this is what mission is about. It's about discerning what kind of community of faith we are - what kind of community of faith we want to be and then making sure that our actions - both public and private, match what we say - "walking the talk" is another way to say it. It all starts with discernment - where and how is God calling us. What do we want people to know and learn about God because of the way we make ourselves known in and about the wider community?

We could be the "healthy food" church .That says something about God and ourselves and the connections between us.

We could be the "open and inviting" church. That says something too.

We could be the "warm and friendly" church. That's what most churches say they are, but visitors know very quickly whether it is true or not.

We could be the "affirming church". Do our statements - public and otherwise, written and understood, really tell that about ourselves. Do we live it?

We could be the "coffee cup and blue jeans" church.

We could be all of the above, or none of them, and be something else.

Just how would you describe your desire for your church? What does it say about who you are and who you think God wants you to be as a community of faith.

Those are the kinds of questions I'm thinking about this day...

Yellowknife,
Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Third Monday - Day Seventeen

How many chances?
One of the readings for the third Sunday of Lent (which happened to be yesterday) has in it the parable of the fig tree. Jesus tells of a landowner who had a fig that did not produce. The landowner wanted it cut down, as it had already had three chances to grow some figs. But the gardener protested, asking that some digging be done around the roots, some extra fertilizer be added and then if it did not produce, it would be time to cut it down.

This has so much resonance with our fig tree that I have to tell the story...

Many years ago I bought a small ficus benjamina - better known as a Weeping Fig. This poor plant was continually on the verge of being cast into the refuse heap as it was often down to one leaf - partly due to my own forgetfulness when it came to the chore of watering it, and partly because it seemed that every time it got moved, it would lose most of its leaves. I once read that the plant had brittle connections between the stem and the leaf and it was thus very sensitive to being moved. I discovered only yesterday with some quick research on Wikipedia that it is not about being brittle but rather that the plant is very sensitive to changing light conditions. When it is moved, the old leaves which are used to the type of light in one place fall off, and new ones that are adjusted to the new lighting conditions grow back. Regardless of the reason, the result was the same - namely that I very often had a plant with very few leaves, and quite often only one.

This was long before I was married. The subject of the lonely one-leafed fig tree came up quite a few times after marriage but I successfully pleaded its case.

Long story short - here's a photo of the way it looks now - an iconic symbol of the value of second, third and fourth chances - and an important symbol of our married relationship!

Yellowknife, NT
Monday, March 8, 2010

Third Saturday - Day Sixteen

Journey/Journal - coincidence?
There is a certain compulsion in this season of Lent to make our Lenten discipline one that is reflective, introspective and deepening. The celebrations in the season are to be kept to the Sundays during Lent - the little Easters that we are told are to be celebrated each week, even during the Lenten season. I think for the most part I've stuck to that path so far this year.

However, it also occurs to me that this blog can also be a form of journal - which at times can simply be a relatively unreflective telling of a day's events. So far I've tried to be reflective even as I've relayed what has been going on for me over the past week and a half. But today, I'm going to leave the reflection to another time or perhaps another person, and simply recount some of the events of today.

We were invited to visit with our friends at their cabin on Prelude Lake this afternoon. So this morning we ran a few errands in preparation for this outing and then this afternoon traveled down the Ingraham Trail to the access road to Prelude Lake park which also provides access to the lake. Our friend had arranged to meet us at the boat launch at 1:30. We arrived along with our warm clothes and contributions for dinner and soon thereafter, the snowmobile and accompanying sled/toboggan/komatik arrived.

After a twenty minute snowmobile across the frozen and snowy lake, we arrived at their cabin in the midst of a lovely sunny and bright day. In fact it was so lovely that we immediately set out for a walk on the lake. This included a visit to the local eagle's nest before we returned to the cabin.
Conversation and Scrabble followed and then it was time for supper - which was shared with good conversation and good food.

Supper complete and the dishes cleaned up it was time to head back across the lake, and home with our souls refreshed, our stomachs satisfied and our Vitamin D concentration greatly enhanced.

The clear sunny day translated into a lovely starlit night. About the only thing left to top off a wonderful day would be a spectacular display of Aurora Borealis. Not yet, but we'll keep on watching!

Saturday. March 6
Yellowknife

Third Friday - Day Fifteen

Reflections on Journey
In some ways this blog entry contains the deepest reflection I've done since beginning on Ash Wednesday, yet as I read it, it seems the most sketchy and disjointed of any I've written so far. I learned a lot about journeys - both physical and metaphorical in the past two days, and a lot of what I learned came from doing the reflection - the results of which are published below. In some ways I wanted to ask myself the question, "Why do we use journey as a motif for the Lenten Season and really for a life of faith?" What is it about journeys which are compelling and instructive? Here then is what I wrote:

Here's a non- exhaustive list of the kinds of journey that came to mind:

• Adventure
• Refugee
• Expectation
• Farewell
• Familiarity
• Discovery

Adventure: I've had a few of these in my lifetime: Africa, journeys while in Africa, in Europe, in Europe as an adult, many backpacking trips and canoe trips

Refugee: only one that could loosely be defined as refugee, but only in the end. It did not start out that way.

Expectation: I think my first trip to Yellowknife could be classified in this category

Farewell: A very strong resonance in me with respect to the trip home for my Dad's funeral and some connection with this trip as I journey home from attending my Grandmother's funeral.

Familiarity: I recall the trip home on weekends from Univeristy, the trip to the cottage when we were young, and The Icefields Parkway

Discovery: north to Alaska, the Ingraham Trail, Going to the Sun Road

What did I learn from these?

Adventure is fun but also scary. Adventure is not for everyone, but God is active and alive for people on an adventure trip. On such a journey one feels more exposed and therefore you become reliant not only on yourself, but you are also more keenly aware of providence.

Refugee journeys: Reluctant, regretful, resistant journeys. A journey you don't want to make but must be done. Refugee journeyers place themselves almost completely into the hands of God.

Expectation: Journeys of the heart are often this kind of journey - the destination is important not because of what but because of who!

Farewell: These are often journeys about a journey. Some of the adjectives that come to mind are: raw, introspective.

Familiarity: The old becomes the new. Journeys of presence where the familiar changes and thus subtly creates a context. Familiarity also creates contenment and peace.

Discovery: These journeys are similar to advenutre but somehow different.

Some scriptural examples of each:

Adventure: couldn't think of one

Refugee: Abram and Sarai; the Hebrew people of out Egypt; Mary, Joseph and Jesus escaping Herod; Joseph (son of Jacob); Noah; Jonah; Jacob; Ishmael - in other words one of the most common journey motifs in scripture

Expectation: The land flowing with milk and honey; the journey of the Magi

Farewell: Jesus and Jerusalem, Mary in the Garden

Familiarity: none come to mind

Discovery: the journey of Jesus in Galilee; the journey of Abram and Sarai

What did I learn about myself and God on this journey of mine?
- people need to hear positive stories about their relationship with God
- it's all about relationship and it's important to be there
- families need storytellers to share the stories
- Family relationships can be really strong even over the distance of time, and even if there has been little contact

Once again the photo will follow...

Third Thursday - Day Fourteen

Sometimes it is about the destination...
Today started out very early. I went to bed at 1 am Winnipeg time and my alarm was set for 3:15. I actually woke up before any of the three alarms went off and I never did get the wake-up call I had asked for - but probably because I was down in the lobby to checkout before the scheduled wake up time.

There's a strange thing that happens in Winnipeg airport. The first flight out is at 5:10 am for Toronto, but security does not open until 4:10 am. This results in a really long line of people waiting to go through security when they arrive up to two hours before their flight. I stood there, number twenty-five in the line thinking about the sleep I could have had instead of the time spent in a lineup which was not moving.

You could almost say that the last minute price I found for this set of flights on Wednesday morning was providential because the Toronto flight was absolutely full. In fact the gate agents were turning standby passengers away on a regular basis. So I don't know if I got a discounted seat because it was the last one, but I certainly appreciate the fact that the cost of my flight was considerably less expensive than when I first started looking at the beginning of the week.
We arrived in Toronto in spectacular weather - sunny and mild.

Kairos and Chronos time are on my mind this evening as I ponder the events of the day. It really is hard to believe that the description I wrote above is a description of this day. It seems at least as if it happened yesterday. The dividing point between chronos and kairos happened in the couple of hours between arriving at my sister's house and our departure for Coboconk and the funeral for my grandmother.

The time with family during and after the funeral was certainly kairos time - God's time. Not in the depth or meaning of the service, although it was fine, but just in the time of reconnection with family members. Some of the people there I have not seen for probably twenty-five years.
And yet in many ways, reconnecting with them was in many cases just as if I had seen them just last week. That's how it can be in families sometimes. And it certainly was that way with Grandma - every time I saw her it was so low-key in the same sense - namely that it was if we had seen each other just recently.

I have another long trip tomorrow - but hopefully with a bit more sleep this time - and therefore more time to do some deeper reflection on all that's happened in these three days.

And that pretty much sums up what I have to say this evening.

Photo to come....

Third Wednesday - Day Thirteen

Journeys are us

Lent is most often portrayed as a journey just as the faithful life as a whole is often described as a journey. I recently read a song or poem which put it this way: 'where the journey is the destination'.

Little did I know when I began this blog that my own Lent would be so literally punctuated by journeys. Yes, I knew about the scheduled trips - part of my responsibility as President of the conference, but now I find myself on another trip, a last minute flight booked only this morning. It's a trip to be with family as we gather to celebrate the life of the Chynoweth matriarch - Hilda Annie Louise Chynoweth (née Bryant) - the one and same grandmother that I've written about in my previous two blog entries.

I'll probably have more to say about that time a little further along. It's going to be a bit of an epic ride - Yellowknife, Calgary, Winnipeg, Toronto - with a very short night in Winnipeg, but it will be good to be there, even if extraordinarily tiring.

What is it about journeys that attract us as a metaphor for life and faith?

Of course there are the scriptural touchstones: the journey of Abram and Sarai, the exodus out of Egypt, the itinerant ministry of Jesus in Galilee, the meaning filled trip of Jesus into Jerusalem, and Paul's trips around the Mediterranean. Both real and metaphorical these stories tell us about leaving one place to find another - perhaps they are refugee stories, or stories of adventure. They might be trips to find something new or oneself. I think it is also about experience instead of answers. We may set out with a destination in mind but we discover that what happens to us along the way changes us, perhaps changes our priorities and our ideas of what it is that we seek.

And so it is that the journey describes an open endedness that allows us to travel ever further on.

And thus ends today's journey....

En route to Calgary, with some additions in Winnipeg

March 3, 2010

Second Tuesday, Day Twelve

Melancholy
That's the word that is going through my head at the moment. It's a word that too often, I think, gets associated with Lent. I looked it up on Google (does anyone look anywhere else these days? - except of course for the new Microsoft Google competitor: Bing) and the definition came back to me with insightful accuracy: A feeling of thoughtful sadness.
I think people expect that the dominant mood in Lent should be melancholy, but I don't. The thoughtfulness yes, but the sadness, no.
However, that's different for me today. My melancholy comes from continuing thoughts of my Grandma. I was pretty much okay with everything, as I said yesterday. How can one be sad for long knowing that she lived for one hundred years - just think of that. I phoned her on her birthday two weeks ago by making a call to my sister's cell phone. Wendy said she thought it was the first time in Grandma's life that she had ever spoken on a cell phone!
My melancholy this evening comes more from the sadness my sister was feeling. I read to her the words I wrote yesterday in this blog, and together we shed some tears as we remembered. They didn't affect me at all that way when I wrote them yesterday, but sharing them with her and hearing them out loud was different. My melancholy also comes from thinking about my aunts - the closest family members to Grandma - her kids.
I'm going to write a tribute to my grandmother that will be read at her funeral. I'm at peace with that as my way of being there for her, and I relish the thought of putting memories of her into words that will be shared with loved ones at the celebration of her life - the second celebration in less than three weeks! It's my way of being there with them, and I am so looking forward to writing it. Even now it is being formed in my mind. I expect it will bring poignant memories to those gathered, but possibly a few smiles and perhaps even a laugh. I think that would make Grandma happy.
I'll take some time off on Thursday during the time of the funeral, and I will imagine all the people gathered listening to what I wrote and together we will be drawn closer over the kilometres of distance, as we remember a good long life, well lived.
So, this is not a Lenten melancholy - just a melancholy and it won't last.

Yellowknife,
Tuesday, March 2, 2010